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So after that nice little bit of Speedway chat we seem to have cooled off slightly again therefore to bring the SMILE :D back to everyone's faces again (or in ruffdiamond's case another groan) in our Covid impacted lives how about these offerings. (and only because Donald has got the USA in the news)

A man is walking through his local shopping mall in the USA and notices a Mexican book store.

He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before.

He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "F#ck you, get out and stay out!" The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"

So the Pope is SUPER early for his flight from the USA back to the Vatican.

He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.

Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.

Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."

Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"

Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."

Chief: "So, what? A celebrity or a footballer or something?"

Cop: "More important, sir."

Chief: "A major politician?"

Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."

Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"

Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."

Now get back to the Speedway related banter or I will drop another one in...

Stay well; stay safe and look after yourself...

Regards
THJ

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On 4/30/2020 at 2:49 PM, Tsunami said:

With Ivan's love of Newcastle, every time he came back to this country, he used to plan his time here and then ring Joan English to advise her of his visit. I believe he used to meet a family he knew in the afternoon, and then travel on to us. His visit was never announced and he was often in the office at the beginning of the meeting but the fans  didn't know. At some stage he would come out and stand in the office doorway and then the news went around that Ivan was with us. Another reason he used to visit us was to check on the progress of David Bargh and Mark Thorpe. He never forgot the New Zealanders. As soon as he arrived and met people, he was away and gone. Very low key.

He must have certainly loved his fellow New Zealanders.

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59 minutes ago, MaugerDiamond said:

He must have certainly loved his fellow New Zealanders.

Yes, he certainly looked out for them.

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1 minute ago, TotallyHonestJohn said:

David Bargh before and after 

Then there was the Milton Keynes Kiwi Jason Bunyan... lol

Regards 

THJ 

I remember David bargh was half decent, the others mentioned so far haven't really made any of their opposition quake in their boots , it's strange that a country that has produced some legends seems to have run dry of talent. Maybe there are a few hidden gems waiting to Grace these shores one day . 

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1 hour ago, ONTWOMINUTES said:

I remember David bargh was half decent, the others mentioned so far haven't really made any of their opposition quake in their boots , it's strange that a country that has produced some legends seems to have run dry of talent. Maybe there are a few hidden gems waiting to Grace these shores one day . 

I think that New Zealand is now about finished producing speedway riders. There doesn't seem to be reports of meetings, perhaps the earthquakes they have had in recent times has put paid to stadiums for speedway.  Be interesting to hear Jade Mudgway's views on the current situation. 

Edited by Tsunami
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5 hours ago, ONTWOMINUTES said:

Has there been any decent riders from new Zealand since mark thorpe ? 

Remember at Rye we had Andrew Aldridge ride for the Raiders (or Cobras as they may have been called then). Scored a max in his first meeting if I recall correctly, looked like a real talent. There were calls for him to be given a spot in the Rockets side straight away but it never happened, ended the season on about a six point third tier average and was shipped out to Bournemouth the next season. 

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Honestly

Gone a bit slow again so here's a little smile for today and its a true story apparently (Cough Cough)

Three couples are trying to get married.

Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. The three couples meet with the vicar and discuss when they can get married.

"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the vicar.

One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the vicar. He then asks the elderly couple, "Have you completed the month without sex?"

"Yes we have, it was easy," replies the elderly couple.

"How about you?" He asks the middle-aged couple.

"It was hard, but we didn't have sex for the whole month," they respond.

"And how about you two?" He asks the young couple.

"No we couldn't do it," responds the boyfriend.

"Tell me why," says the vicar.

"Well my girlfriend had a tin of beans in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that's when it happened."

The vicar then tells them, "You're not welcome in my church."

"We're not welcome in the supermarket either," says the boyfriend.

Boom Boom!!!

Stay well; stay safe and look after yourself...

Regards
THJ

Edited by TotallyHonestJohn
missed out key words
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Another day looking out the window every 15 minutes to see if tonight’s meeting will go ahead.Just another Sunday. Stay Safe#

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There's also this, from Bandit HQ, at 5pm:

We will be showing Bandits vs Edinburgh Monarchs from May of 2019, today (Sunday 10th) at 5pm!

Local derbies are always well attended at Shielfield Park and this match was no different. The Monarchs looked strong on paper and the Bandits had to be on top form if all the points were going to stay in Berwick!

A choice of viewing......

Edited by crescent girl
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2 hours ago, crescent girl said:

There's also this, from Bandit HQ, at 5pm:

We will be showing Bandits vs Edinburgh Monarchs from May of 2019, today (Sunday 10th) at 5pm!

Local derbies are always well attended at Shielfield Park and this match was no different. The Monarchs looked strong on paper and the Bandits had to be on top form if all the points were going to stay in Berwick!

A choice of viewing......

And this has got what to do with Newcastle? :unsure:

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20 minutes ago, StevePark said:

And this has got what to do with Newcastle? :unsure:

It is highlighting that Berwick are featured in two different streams tonight at 5pm, one of which is heavily and properly advertised above.    

Reminding Berwick viewers on here that they have a choice.   No doubt the keener ones will watch both, one after another -- rather than Boris!

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