TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 9, 2020 Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 Honestly Very slow on here!!! So how about this one just to keep things ticking over Furthermore and before anyone says anything I know its an old one but its still good and a true story I believe... (Cough Cough) So a man boarded an aeroplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realised she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard... Wow he though... Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “So er what’s your business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?” “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Irish... Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy". Regards THJ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevePark Posted April 9, 2020 Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 On a more serious note: https://newcastle-speedway.co.uk/newcastle-speedway-bid-a-sad-farewell-to-stalwart-supporter-and-backer-peter-gibson/ 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupy Posted April 9, 2020 Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 1 hour ago, StevePark said: On a more serious note: https://newcastle-speedway.co.uk/newcastle-speedway-bid-a-sad-farewell-to-stalwart-supporter-and-backer-peter-gibson/ Sorry to hear R.I.P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 9, 2020 Report Share Posted April 9, 2020 2 hours ago, StevePark said: On a more serious note: https://newcastle-speedway.co.uk/newcastle-speedway-bid-a-sad-farewell-to-stalwart-supporter-and-backer-peter-gibson/ Sorry to hear this but have we not got enough bad news to deal with without posts like this.... however now that you have raised the elephant in the room Newcastle have lost another fan and former sponsor not only of the club but a major supporter of various past and present riders.... Brian Paddison lost the fight against Covid 19 last week and someone else who although hadn't been regularly to Brough over the last couple of seasons will be sadly missed... Both RIP but I doubt they will be the last to succumb... especially with this virus still rampant... Testing times for everyone... stay well stay safe and look after yourself... Regards THJ 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aceslider Posted April 10, 2020 Report Share Posted April 10, 2020 23 hours ago, StevePark said: On a more serious note: https://newcastle-speedway.co.uk/newcastle-speedway-bid-a-sad-farewell-to-stalwart-supporter-and-backer-peter-gibson/ Very sad news about Peter R.I.P. and condolences to his family. Peter was a Diamonds fan through and through. Not only did he provide financial backing, but he and his wife did so much behind the scenes when speedway was making a comeback at Newcastle in the late 90s as well as providing heavy equipment for track work when it was needed One of life's genuine characters who will be sorely missed! 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupy Posted April 12, 2020 Report Share Posted April 12, 2020 At least we will not get beat tonight..every cloud and all that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 12, 2020 Report Share Posted April 12, 2020 57 minutes ago, soupy said: At least we will not get beat tonight..every cloud and all that. True... but you would still rather be there watching some Speedway having a pint and a hog roast banjo than being locked in watching the tripe being dished up on this telly am sure.... am nearly regretting flagging over me garden cos if a had some grass to cut a would be out doing that... there's only so many times you can clean windows or wash a car... Regards THJ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 12, 2020 Report Share Posted April 12, 2020 3 hours ago, soupy said: At least we will not get beat tonight..every cloud and all that. Typical isn't it,,, a very much doubt any speedway would have been lost to bad weather thus far this season. If or when it does get started, a bet it rains 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 12, 2020 Report Share Posted April 12, 2020 12 hours ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: True... but you would still rather be there watching some Speedway having a pint and a hog roast banjo than being locked in watching the tripe being dished up on this telly am sure.... am nearly regretting flagging over me garden cos if a had some grass to cut a would be out doing that... there's only so many times you can clean windows or wash a car... Regards THJ Thought yi had a van Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 12, 2020 Report Share Posted April 12, 2020 Just think of the positive side tho I know it's another week without speedway but if every 1 does as there telt & stays indoors barring us key grafters the sooner every 1 becomes healthier & the speedway will be back 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 13, 2020 Report Share Posted April 13, 2020 1 hour ago, pienpeesman said: Thought yi had a van Couple of vans and a classic car... All of which are now shining like a diamond in a coal bunker... Regards THJ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 Morning On a much less serious note; here is a true story I have just read; how do I know it was true? well it was on the internet so it must be... So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living. He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an Old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless. The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. Not only am I rubbish at driving trains; I'm a bad conductor too." Regards THJ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 The sooner the government realises that they need to get folk back to work the better 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 29 minutes ago, ruffdiamond said: The sooner the government realises that they need to get folk back to work the better Honestly Ruff I am at work as we are key workers for support services to the elderly... Only thing is its emergencies only; so works like total loss of power, lighting or heating and hot water, major plumbing problems, broken windows and essential works similar to these; however to be fair everyone is being sensible and over the last three weeks we have been averaging between 2 to 3 jobs a day (rather than 30 to 40 a day) and that's over an 8000 unit portfolio of properties, only one job in today to put a dehumidifier into a property flooded from a burst in the flat above. So the boredom is palpable. Easter was interesting as last year we done 33 jobs over the four day off period and this year not one? However on a speedway note and chatting on the phone to a friend in Cumbria who is in the know!!! (in the know Tony from Maryport remember him) if the lock-down succeeds in its goals and the Covid 19 infections fall to a manageable level and everything is relaxed as we try and return back to some type of normality; we could be looking at turning the proverbial speedway tap back on for the start of July; however one league with one home and one away fixture (total 22 meetings) and the winners of the league being pronounced champions with no play off but a knockout cup running as well. All still tentative but obviously the right people are talking to each other I am led to believe. So something positive to look forward to if (and its a big IF) things keep progressing in a positive fashion, but its still some time off. Couple of things I can see as being a problem like getting the foreign riders in; as reading on the internet (if its not fake news) Australia are possibly looking at a lock-down of sorts until September radically restricting travel so any team with an Aussie rider in it could potentially have difficulties and some European countries are also taking different stances on how to tackle the Covid 19 outbreak; so again movement of riders will be a big issue I would suggest... So guests will be heavily used I reckon but as I say still a long way to go on this but we still could see some action before the season is over... The exit plan the government set up will have a great deal to do with what happens as well; and especially their take on mass gatherings which will be the last thing they will want; so as stated it is a very long way off yet but fingers crossed and we get out of this Cluster Fc.uk we find ourselves in; sooner rather than later... Stay well; stay safe and look after yourself... Regards THJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 40 minutes ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: Honestly Ruff I am at work as we are key workers for support services to the elderly... Only thing is its emergencies only; so works like total loss of power, lighting or heating and hot water, major plumbing problems, broken windows and essential works similar to these; however to be fair everyone is being sensible and over the last three weeks we have been averaging between 2 to 3 jobs a day (rather than 30 to 40 a day) and that's over an 8000 unit portfolio of properties, only one job in today to put a dehumidifier into a property flooded from a burst in the flat above. So the boredom is palpable. Easter was interesting as last year we done 33 jobs over the four day off period and this year not one? However on a speedway note and chatting on the phone to a friend in Cumbria who is in the know!!! (in the know Tony from Maryport remember him) if the lock-down succeeds in its goals and the Covid 19 infections fall to a manageable level and everything is relaxed as we try and return back to some type of normality; we could be looking at turning the proverbial speedway tap back on for the start of July; however one league with one home and one away fixture (total 22 meetings) and the winners of the league being pronounced champions with no play off but a knockout cup running as well. All still tentative but obviously the right people are talking to each other I am led to believe. So something positive to look forward to if (and its a big IF) things keep progressing in a positive fashion, but its still some time off. Couple of things I can see as being a problem like getting the foreign riders in; as reading on the internet (if its not fake news) Australia are possibly looking at a lock-down of sorts until September radically restricting travel so any team with an Aussie rider in it could potentially have difficulties and some European countries are also taking different stances on how to tackle the Covid 19 outbreak; so again movement of riders will be a big issue I would suggest... So guests will be heavily used I reckon but as I say still a long way to go on this but we still could see some action before the season is over... The exit plan the government set up will have a great deal to do with what happens as well; and especially their take on mass gatherings which will be the last thing they will want; so as stated it is a very long way off yet but fingers crossed and we get out of this Cluster Fc.uk we find ourselves in; sooner rather than later... Stay well; stay safe and look after yourself... Regards THJ Was thinking along the lines of,,, IF we can get some speedway in, but maybe only using British based riders. Say 1 or 2 leagues, split geographically and share the riders out that can, or want to take part. It could be averaged based but, forget about their averages changing during what's left of the season. Then revert back to 2019 averages for 2021??? Just a daft idea, but maybe we could put up with it, if it keeps riders and fans getting their fixes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenga Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 somehow if poss . it would be good to see some sports returning to a normal schedule of fixtures and stuff . but , in the bigger picture would it not be better to see this covid problem out to the bitter end and save everyone from any doubt that covid is finally gone . lets just forget about 2020 and look forward to next season (2021) knowing that we can attend speedway meetings, horse and footy matches without any fear of getting something we dont really want . its for the greater good, innit ...... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 19 minutes ago, jenga said: somehow if poss . it would be good to see some sports returning to a normal schedule of fixtures and stuff . but , in the bigger picture would it not be better to see this covid problem out to the bitter end and save everyone from any doubt that covid is finally gone . lets just forget about 2020 and look forward to next season (2021) knowing that we can attend speedway meetings, horse and footy matches without any fear of getting something we dont really want . its for the greater good, innit ...... Dunno if anyone knows the best way out, or if it will ever totally go?,,, Some folk will do what is the best way for them, to see it thru hopefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 17, 2020 Report Share Posted April 17, 2020 57 minutes ago, ruffdiamond said: Was thinking along the lines of,,, IF we can get some speedway in, but maybe only using British based riders. Say 1 or 2 leagues, split geographically and share the riders out that can, or want to take part. It could be averaged based but, forget about their averages changing during what's left of the season. Then revert back to 2019 averages for 2021??? Just a daft idea, but maybe we could put up with it, if it keeps riders and fans getting their fixes. Well the craic is "if" the restrictions are lifted they will have a go in running and if it's August the talk was of 6 North 6 South leagues and a play off between the top two. Time will ultimately be the deciding factor as to what can be fitted in... The issue for clubs next year will be where do they get sponsorship from as everyone's pockets will be in lock-down mode for some time to come and I can see this potentially pushing some clubs over the edge... Plus how hard has the fan base been hit with an average crowd age that must be pushing 60+ how many of them are stilll around and of those who are how many would want to attend an event where social distancing is difficult to achieve... Some big decisions to be made that's for sure and there are no daft ideas at the moment I would say that nothing is off the table... Regards THJ 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 19, 2020 Report Share Posted April 19, 2020 Hey As of today there are only 250 days to Christmas... yeah!!! Regards THJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 19, 2020 Report Share Posted April 19, 2020 3 minutes ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: Hey As of today there are only 250 days to Christmas... yeah!!! Regards THJ Don't you need to polish one of your cars ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.