Neila Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 53 minutes ago, Richard Weston said: Keep going guys. Closing now on Poole. (forum pages) Got nowt to say, just another post to try and overtake Poole's total !! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 15 minutes ago, ruffdiamond said: That deal sounds good, (if you could drink the stuff), but have you seen the ffffing queue to get in??? Av been hoarding gin, for when things get tough A go at half seven at night just before it closes at 8 an it's not as manic... An av got a few Gin's in me collection an am rather partial to Bombay Sapphire or Tanqueray... very nice... Although a single malt is never refused either... unless it's Laphroaig.... might be Prince Charles favourite but not mine... Regards THJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neila Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 7 minutes ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: A go at half seven at night just before it closes at 8 an it's not as manic... An av got a few Gin's in me collection an am rather partial to Bombay Sapphire or Tanqueray... very nice... Although a single malt is never refused either... unless it's Laphroaig.... might be Prince Charles favourite but not mine... Regards THJ Think you got a drink problem THJ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 1 hour ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: He would have done if... and it was only if... they (you know who) could have committed to the club running this year.... his mind was made up for him I think early in the September... when one promoter was telling anyone who woukd listen that he was walking and the other one was saying he was taking the club down a league... so if we had one of the promoters saying we were definitelty running Steve told me he would have stayed... well for one promoter not the other... but neither of the goons would give an inch and through their own arrogance put the whole club in jeopardy... so if Rob Grant had of been in the picture then it may have been a totally different story... but al tell ya what their kid has a job on in Forest Hall with his groundworks business and he told me two week ago just before the lockdown when I dropped in to see him that... and dependant on Covid 19 restrictions... there kid was gonna come up for a couple of weeks to do a bit of graft... we had arranged to go out for a beer and a bite to eat but that has been scuppered for now.... but when we do get together I will ask him again... I very much doubt he has changed his mind... however I will report back what he says.. Howzat grab ya... Regards THJ Don't forget my invite biggin 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 56 minutes ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: Well ASDA are doing 24 bottles of Budweiser for a tenner... if that doesn't cheer you up nowt will... I have been panic buying and I now have 240 little friends to cheer me up... never mind this bog roll tosh... if ya gonna panic buy get something useful... Regards THJ Bud is nee good for me back door & causes terrible starlings release Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 23 minutes ago, Neila said: Think you got a drink problem THJ He ain't the only 1 lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 44 minutes ago, Neila said: Think you got a drink problem THJ Not really.... I only drink twice a week.... Once for four days and once for three... I have also been told to have a well balance diet... the best way to do that I have found is to have a drink in each hand.... Regards THJ 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 25 minutes ago, pienpeesman said: Bud is nee good for me back door & causes terrible starlings release Nah a find the Bud can set off me Plymouth Argyles now an then though... Gives a new meaning to roid rage... Anyway you have got summat up with ya cos everything ya seem to drink goes through ya like prune juice an rhubarb with an Epsom salts chaser on a warm day.... Drink wine and at least if that gives you the thruppeny bits you can always use the cork to stem the flow Regards THJ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 Just now, TotallyHonestJohn said: Nah a find the Bud can set off me Plymouth Argyles now an then though... Gives a new meaning to roid rage... Anyway you have got summat up with ya cos everything ya seem to drink goes through ya like prune juice an rhubarb with an Epsom salts chaser on a warm day.... Drink wine and at least if that gives you the thruppeny bits you can always use the cork to stem the flow Regards THJ Actually Mal ave seen the size of your hoop you could probably get the bottle in there xx Regards THJ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 (edited) Afternoon Today's true storey (cough cough) Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited: “Hey buddy I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!” “No way!” says Joe “Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.” Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens the door and Fred eagerly asks her, “Hi! I’m sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesn’t believe that you have toilet bowls made of pure gold!” The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house, “Roger, the pig that shat in your trombone is here! Regards THJ Edited April 3, 2020 by TotallyHonestJohn Edited for accuracy 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 17 hours ago, TotallyHonestJohn said: Nah a find the Bud can set off me Plymouth Argyles now an then though... Gives a new meaning to roid rage... Anyway you have got summat up with ya cos everything ya seem to drink goes through ya like prune juice an rhubarb with an Epsom salts chaser on a warm day.... Drink wine and at least if that gives you the thruppeny bits you can always use the cork to stem the flow Regards THJ Am fine with mckewans champion & Stella mixed with a few sticks of celery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 38 minutes ago, Richard Weston said: 134 plays 134 as Diamonds in race to the top. Vintage stuff from the club that brought you one or two star names in the past Yeah, well done Poole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 4, 2020 Popular Post Report Share Posted April 4, 2020 (edited) Morning Some important information I have just received from work that may help folk during these tough times and could be very relevent to Speedeay fans of a certain age... (cough cough) EMPLOYEE NOTICE Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much S.H.1.T. (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of S.H.1.T. they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough S.H.1.T, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the S.H.1.T. you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. Regards THJ Edited April 4, 2020 by TotallyHonestJohn Edited for accuracy 1 11 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 On 4/2/2020 at 10:29 PM, TotallyHonestJohn said: Not really.... I only drink twice a week.... Once for four days and once for three... I have also been told to have a well balance diet... the best way to do that I have found is to have a drink in each hand.... Regards THJ Agree but just to keep the lips wet it's best to drink 1 & hold the other & make sure the bar tender is pouring the next 1 in readiness to keep the empty always full ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 Just now, pienpeesman said: Agree but just to keep the lips wet it's best to drink 1 & hold the other & make sure the bar tender is pouring the next 1 in readiness to keep the empty always full ha Got In from work last night ( key worker ) & am not a Coors light fan ! But it's not to bad with a vodka mango chaser but I only had the 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruffdiamond Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 2 hours ago, pienpeesman said: Got In from work last night ( key worker ) & am not a Coors light fan ! But it's not to bad with a vodka mango chaser but I only had the 5 Don't imagine you being a fan of anything 'light' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 Afternoon I know in these Covid 19 times shopping is difficult however... (cough cough) A store that sells new husbands has opened in London where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please and you are all total idiots that want,want and want. Like all the rest, you are also nothing but a greedy good for nothing cow. No wonder you are on you own you fat horrible greedy get, you deserve to be left on the shelf. Just what you deserve. Now get out! Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. This was on the same six floor principles... The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer and will indulge you sexually whenever you desire! The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited. Regards THJ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 2 hours ago, ruffdiamond said: Don't imagine you being a fan of anything 'light' I'm at my best in the dark nights just as your favourite rider is as he only seemed to up his average towards the end of the season when the floodlights came on & the MOTH came good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justgotmecpc Posted April 5, 2020 Report Share Posted April 5, 2020 1 hour ago, pienpeesman said: I'm at my best in the dark nights just as your favourite rider is as he only seemed to up his average towards the end of the season when the floodlights came on & the MOTH came good Well it's time for some glug glug any 1 care to join in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotallyHonestJohn Posted April 6, 2020 Report Share Posted April 6, 2020 Afternoon Just a word to the wise about a friend of mine called Dave (cough cough) Dave's wife treat him to a night out for a special birthday by taking him to a lap dancing club. When they arrived the Doorman said "Okay Dave how's tricks?" His wife asked "how does he know you?" Dave says "oh er I play footy with him" Inside the barman says "usual Dave?" Dave turns to the wife and says "before you ask or say anything he's on the darts team at my local okay" Next a lap dancer walks straight up to him and says "hi Dave do you want the special again?" and the wife storms out and grabs him by the collar dragging him out with her and jumps into a taxi" Taxi driver says "Jesus Dave you've pulled a right minger this week" True Story That!!! Be safe; keep well and look after yourself Regards THJ 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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