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Newcastle 2020


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On 6/1/2020 at 4:47 PM, Diamondlil said:

Also nicknamed clogs for obvious reasons

Clogs, Geordie Nut and Pepsi is a lot better than 'who yee'. 

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Here is a smile for Friday and a true story... (Cough Cough)

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

 "Oh… That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognise any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologises and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognise any of these sounds."

The assistant apologises again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. 

"This is outrageous false advertising"!

"I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

Boom Boom... Bee Side Ha Ha... get it?

Oh never mind have a nice weekend Stay Well and Stay Safe

Regards
THJ

 

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On 6/5/2020 at 4:51 PM, TotallyHonestJohn said:

Here is a smile for Friday and a true story... (Cough Cough)

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.

He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

 "Oh… That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognise any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologises and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognise any of these sounds."

The assistant apologises again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. 

"This is outrageous false advertising"!

"I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

Boom Boom... Bee Side Ha Ha... get it?

Oh never mind have a nice weekend Stay Well and Stay Safe

Regards
THJ

 

Few tracks from Sting on that album I bet. :approve:

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47 minutes ago, diamond@heart said:

Few tracks from Sting on that album I bet. :approve:

And B Bumble and the Stingers( Nut Rocker )  :D

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On 6/6/2020 at 9:19 PM, ruffdiamond said:

'One day,,, there was an Englishman, Jenga and a Scotsman',,, ;)

And that's the end of the Joke as all three of them were idiots!!!

On 6/6/2020 at 11:15 PM, diamond@heart said:

Few tracks from Sting on that album I bet. :approve:

Oh Dear and someone said my jokes were bad... Boom Boom... :D

On 6/7/2020 at 12:05 AM, Tsunami said:

And B Bumble and the Stingers( Nut Rocker )  :D

Now Dave this is a big give away mind it got to Number 1 in 1962 and I can just see you at the "Club a GoGo" on Percy Street or even the "Majestic" on Clayton Street wearing your "Crepe Soled Brothel Creepers" best Teddy Boy "Drape" jacket on; drain pipe trousers and hair "Brylcreemed" back forming the perfect DA (that's a ducks bottom for the under 95's) and probably the oldest rocker in the queue (apart from Elvis) (Tartan Campbell) (who would have still been a boy then) LOL....

Bee Bumble and the Stingers LMAO.... and for all those under 129 years of age here we go children.... All the best from Rockabilly Tsunami...

 

Regards
THJ

Edited by TotallyHonestJohn
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5 hours ago, TotallyHonestJohn said:

And that's the end of the Joke as all three of them were idiots!!!

Oh Dear and someone said my jokes were bad... Boom Boom... :D

Now Dave this is a big give away mind it got to Number 1 in 1962 and I can just see you at the "Club a GoGo" on Percy Street or even the "Majestic" on Clayton Street wearing your "Crepe Soled Brothel Creepers" best Teddy Boy "Drape" jacket on; drain pipe trousers and hair "Brylcreemed" back forming the perfect DA (that's a ducks bottom for the under 95's) and probably the oldest rocker in the queue (apart from Elvis) (Tartan Campbell) (who would have still been a boy then) LOL....

Bee Bumble and the Stingers LMAO.... and for all those under 129 years of age here we go children.... All the best from Rockabilly Tsunami...

 

Regards
THJ

I remember that tune in our house, we even made it into a football song, the record will still be around somewhere :t:

Playing the piano on the mantelpiece,  excellent. 

Edited by ruffdiamond
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5 hours ago, TotallyHonestJohn said:

And that's the end of the Joke as all three of them were idiots!!!

Oh Dear and someone said my jokes were bad... Boom Boom... :D

Now Dave this is a big give away mind it got to Number 1 in 1962 and I can just see you at the "Club a GoGo" on Percy Street or even the "Majestic" on Clayton Street wearing your "Crepe Soled Brothel Creepers" best Teddy Boy "Drape" jacket on; drain pipe trousers and hair "Brylcreemed" back forming the perfect DA (that's a ducks bottom for the under 95's) and probably the oldest rocker in the queue (apart from Elvis) (Tartan Campbell) (who would have still been a boy then) LOL....

Bee Bumble and the Stingers LMAO.... and for all those under 129 years of age here we go children.... All the best from Rockabilly Tsunami...

 

Regards
THJ

I first heard it downstairs in the basement of Windows in the TOON. My mate Rig loved the record, and we got to play it at the Clarence Street Mission, Shieldfield during the Speedway Supporters Club night. Happy days them. 

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49 minutes ago, Tsunami said:

I first heard it downstairs in the basement of Windows in the TOON. My mate Rig loved the record, and we got to play it at the Clarence Street Mission, Shieldfield during the Speedway Supporters Club night. Happy days them. 

Honestly

My Granddad used to work at and help run the Clarence Street Mission between the wars and he used to do the "Magic Lantern Show" would you believe...

He was Shieldfield born and bread...

He had a stable at Back Stephen Street behind the Cumberland Arms which took a direct hit the same night the Appollo got bombed... 100 Chickens in the yard and they couldn't find a feather...

Small world...

Regards 

THJ 

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Honestly

I should have been n Prague last week watching a GP but that didn't happen obviously so I had a drunken weekend from the Thursday to the Monday (well I had booked the time off before Christmas) and as this week has been a bit of a write off I am blowing it off tomorrow as well... Two more stone on in lock down... you just don't realise how many calories there are in Beer, Wine and Spirits... Doh!!! oh and carry outs... honestly who wants to cook when stodge (curry (Indian not Chinese as they started this carry on) pizza chips kebabs) is this cheap and delivered to the door?

So as I was missing last week here are some lighter notes to hopefully make you smile in eternal lock down...

A ship wrecks onto a deserted island.

Two guys and a girl survive. Since they don't have anything to do all day besides eating and sleeping, they just have sex. Eventually the girl gets sick and dies. The two men don't know what to do with themselves anymore, so they keep having sex.

After a few days of sex, they feel guilty about what they've been doing... so they bury her.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist.

"Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a tepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a tepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

A moth goes to a physiotherapist

I am so tense I am over thinking everything I do; I am in a total quandary

The Physio say’s “you need a psychiatrist mate I’m a physiotherapist what you come in here for”

The moth said “you were the only one with a light on”

A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings.

The physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives. The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.

The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, "There IS a solution!", and then burns to death.

Boom Boom

Stay Safe; Stay Well and here's hoping if we do get some Speedway all your home meetings are 49-41 and all you away meetings are 44-46...

By the way staying on a Speedway note I have really enjoyed the Rewind/Rerun meetings on the various platforms and it just shows (to me anyway) how well suited Speedway is to being televised; I watched that Man City/Arsenal match last night and it was awful with no crowd the atmosphere was "crepe" even when you don't see the crowd on the TV the noise of the bikes builds on the entertainment; Footballers (even well paid ones) shouting "Over here mate" and "Pass the ball" just doesn't do it for me. Pity Speedway couldn't get a better buy in from terrestrial television because crowd or no crowd it doesn't take away from the entertainment (for me anyway)... Just a thought...

Regards
THJ

 

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12 hours ago, pienpeesman said:

Well as we all know that when the government reduce the 2 mtr lockdown to 1 & allow social events to reopen etc from independence day I wonder if we will hear the bikes at nrough

Even diamond fans are referring it as rough park :o

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