krissie Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 I received this as an email from a forum member......and he's got the cheek to tell ME I should get out more!....lol :clown 3rd annual BRITISH GRAND PRIX STAY AT HOME BBQ TIMETABLE OF EVENTS ~ 16.00 LAST MINUTE PREPARATIONS ARE MADE IN THE HOUSEHOLD 16.05 GUESTS MAY START ARRIVING IF VERY KEEN 16.30 BBQ CHARCOAL WILL BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED AROUND THE DESIRED COOKING AREA AND IGNITED 16.31 FIRST BEER WILL BE OPENED (AND LAST IF ITS STELLA!) 16.35 GUESTS WILL START ASKING IF NEXT DOORS FENCE IS ALIGHT! 17.00 FOOD WILL START TO BE COOKED PROFESSIONALLY BY THE EVENT CHEF (DEPENDING ON INEBRIATION LEVEL!) 17.30 FOOD WILL BEGIN TO APPEAR ON THE TABLE. 17.31 HUNGRY GUESTS WILL BE ASKING FOR MORE! 17.32 KIDS WILL BE ASKING FOR BURGERS! 17.33 CHEF WILL BE GETTING ANNOYED AND THROWING TANTRUMS!! (THOSE WHO DECIDE TO SIT CLOSE TO THE COOKING AREA MAY REQUEST TO MOVE AT THIS POINT!) 17.45 CHEF WILL BEGIN TO ARRANGE THE SWEEPSTAKE (THIS PART IS NOT WHERE THE BROOM COMES OUT AND THE FALLEN STEAKS ARE CLEARED FROM THE PATIO, THE DOG HAS THAT JOB!) 18.00 THE TELEVISION EQUIPMENT WILL BE SWITCHED ON AND CHANNEL 401 WILL BE SELECTED, AND THE REMOTE CONTROL WILL BE DISCARDED. AT NO TIME IN THE NEXT FOUR HOURS WILL THE TELEVISION BE TOUCHED BY ANYONE (EXCEPTION BEING VOLUME CONTROL!) 18.15 THE SWEEPSTAKE WILL BE DRAWN. RIDERS WILL BE CHOSEN FROM A “POT” .....THE POT MAY BE CALLED BLACK. WE ARE NOT INTO RACIAL ARGUMENTS. 18.16 THE SWEEPSTAKE DRAW WILL BE ARGUED BY A GUEST THAT HAS CHOSEN ANDY SMITH!! AND ANOTHER DRAW MAY TAKE PLACE AT THIS POINT. ~ please note...the previous sweepstake winners from BGPBBQ 1 AND BGPBBQ 2 have not been invited this year..£20 for the winner may be good on the day, but you sit at home on your own next year! 18.30 THE UN CONSUMED FOOD GETS FED TO THE DOG (OR AN UNDER PRIVILEGED NEIGHBOUR VIA THE “BACK GARDEN FENCE” SYSTEM) 18.45 SPEEDWAY FANS WILL BE REQUESTED TO TAKE THERE PLACES IN A GOOD VIEWING AREA 18.50 GUESTS WILL START TO ARGUE THAT THEY CANNOT SEE, AND MOVE POSITIONS 18.51 EXCITEMENT IN THE ROOM WILL BE AT ITS HIGHEST OF THE NIGHT, AS THE RIDERS ARE INTRODUCED, EACH GUESTS WILL CHEER THERE SWEEPSTAKE NOMINEE 19.00 THE SHOW BEGINS ....THE GIRLIES ARE ASKED TO VACATE THE SPEEDWAY ROOM AND TAKE UP THERE DESIRED POSITIONS IN THE GARDEN WHERE THE ALCOHOL WILL BE SUPPLIED, AND COMFORTABLE SEATING WILL BE AVAILABLE BECAUSE IT WILL BE A LONG NIGHT FOR THEM! 19.15 THE FIRST RIDER TO BE WITHDRAWN FROM THE MEETING WILL BE ABOUT NOW, AND THE SWEEPSTAKER WITH THAT NAMED RIDER WILL PROBABLY SAY “THEY HAVE TO LEAVE TO FEED THERE CATS!” 21.45..ish TIMING IS ONLY APPROXIMATE, BUT IT WILL BE ABOUT THIS TIME THAT THE SWEEPSTAKE WINNER WILL BE PRESENTED WITH THEIR £20 WINNINGS. 21.46 THE SWEEPSTAKER WHO WISHED TO LEAVE EARLY AS THERE RIDER WITHDREW AT THE EARLIEST STAGE(IE USUALLY THE “ANDY SMITH” TICKET HOLDER)WILL BE PRESENTED WITH THE “FOXY FIVER” 23.30 GUESTS ARE ASKED TO COLLECT THERE KIDS FROM WHEREVER THEY HAVE FALLEN, AND START TO MAKE THERE MOVES.... 08.00 BREAKFAST WILL BE SERVED TO THE GUESTS THAT HAVEN’T LEFT BY THIS TIME.(THIS IS FRESHLY COOKED AND NOT LEFT-OVERS!) 08.45 GUESTS THAT HAVEN’T LEFT AT THIS TIME...WILL BE EJECTED ...OR FED TO THE DOG! 09.00 CHEF WILL BE DEPARTING THE AREA TO PARTAKE IN A BIT OF GRASSTRACK AT UGLEY ...THE CHEFS “ASSISTANT” WILL BEGIN THE CLEAR UP OPERATION! ~ FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS..... Q. WHAT IS THE TIME THE GUESTS SHOULD ARRIVE? A. ITS AN OPEN HOUSE...COME WHEN YOU WANT. Q. WHAT DO I BRING? A. ANYTHING YOU LIKE, ALTHOUGH THE CHEFS LARDER IS FULL, ALCOHOL LIMITS ARE UNLIMITED, AND DRIVERS PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Q. WHAT IS THE “FOXY FIVER”? A. BE PATIENT...ALL WILL BE REVEALED...ITS A LONG STANDING SWEEPSTAKE TRADITION IN THE CHEFS FAMILY! ~ BRITISH GRAND PRIX BBQ ROLL OF HONOUR BGPBBQ1 winner RON THE MACHINE EXAMINER.... Foxy fiver SEAN....(CHEF!) BGPBBQ2 winner DIANE FARMER Foxy Fiver SEAN....(CHEF!) AND LASTLY...DON’T THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THE “FOXY FIVER” IS JUST COZ I WON IT THE LAST TWO YEARS.......TRUST ME .......YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! I WILL BE VERY GLAD TO HAND IT OVER THIS YEAR! ~ BGPBBQ3 THE BEST YET! T-SHIRTS ARE AVAILABLE ON REQUEST SIZING FOR WOMEN IS ONLY DETERMINED BY CHEFS “PERSONALLY HANDLED SIZING SYSTEM” ENJOY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Thumb Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 I`ll let you know if he keeps to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 *&£$%" *(^"^%..........ANYONE KNOW WHERE TO GET SOME CHARCOAL???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panthersfan Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 Try an Art shop. :clown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Posted June 14, 2003 Report Share Posted June 14, 2003 ok..it all went to plan, for once i didn't get the Foxy Fiver, that went to my youngest son!!!! every thing was eaten, pretty soon every thing will be drunk, (just half a bottle of JD to go!!) and only one overnighter!!! poor dog will starve!!! bring on the grasstrack!! GO 121!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
False dawn Posted June 15, 2003 Report Share Posted June 15, 2003 bring on the grasstrack!! GO 121!! Can you bring the matchsticks please, Sean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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