King Jamie

KJ’s meeting Preview... This week's visitors to sunny Armadale are the soap dodging Tiggers from Glasgow in the first leg of the League Cup Final. Our billionaire friends from the West have recently returned from an all expenses paid, teambuilding trip to the Bahamas and have agreed to take time out from their extremely unhectic schedule to face us this week. For that we must be eternally grateful. In fact, we are so unworthy, we should probably just throw in the towel now. After all, that’s why we signed 2 Germans, isn’t it? It’s the first time the two sides have met in a national Cup Final for over 20 years and the Monarchs are offering a wide range of eye catching offers to mark the big occasion. For £48 you can sponsor a rider. For just £1,500 you can pay at the gate on Friday night. And for a bargain £3 million, you can buy the club lock, stock and barrel. You’ll also receive a complimentary, hand painted portrait of Mr Campbell, which you must hang over your fireplace or face possible assassination. The clash has certainly captured the imagination of major speedway celebrities. Eurosport co-commentator extraordinaire Sam Ermolenko called midweek and gave his comments: “Hey buddy, how goes it? Right, I’ll tell what will happen. Victor Pavolarry will control heat 2 and get his wheels in line on the back straightaway. And I expect Kevin Walford will be keen to yet again show Glasgow what he’s all about. I have to say though, I’m disappointed Michael Jesper Jensen and Mateusz Shipanski aren’t racing. Those dudes are box office man. I hope you guys have a fantastic evening. I’ve got great memories of Armadale. It’s definitely one of my favourite places in England.” Not to be outdone, Sky TV got in touch last night. Charlie Webster was desperate to find out how morale was in the home camp. Meanwhile, in the background, I overheard a very interesting conversation... “I tell you Kelvin, I really dislike Edinburgh. I hope Glasgow smash them.” “I um uh um yeah, I totally agree Nigel.” I was just about to hang up in disgust when Chris Louis suddenly took time off from drawing silly arrows on his iPad to say a few words. However, I’ve no idea what he said as I fell asleep 10 seconds later... For the 2014 treble champions, it’s a chance to gain revenge for the home defeat by the soap dodgers earlier in the season. However, it looks like they’ll have to do without top reserve Max Clegg, who suffered a hand injury at Birmingham on Wednesday night. On the positive side, Erik Riss has decided speedway is important this week, but only after it was announced the latest round of the World ice cream scooping Championships in Outer Mongolia had been postponed. Apparently it was discovered the Promoter was a coneman. For the 1993/94 ‘double double’ winners, Kake Nieminen makes a timely return from injury to strengthen the visitors even further than they have been all season. The great unwashed must go into this one as favourites following a campaign full of rule bending, dodgy transfers and big money splashing. Anything other than a Glasgow aggregate victory will be looked upon as failure. This week's big welcome goes to: none of them, they’re Weegies. (editor’s note – away, ya grumpy auld git. There’s no need for that attitude. Besides, your wee niece still has a soft spot for Aaron Summers. And he’s ex-Edinburgh. He must qualify for a welcome? Go on. You know you want to!) This week's 'popular yer baws!' award goes to: Kake the name changer. Your name’s Kake son. That’s Kake. Not Kauko. Kake. Thank you. The Florenshafisztof Kaspitzanwinkelhoppen award for suave name of the week goes to: Florenwhat? Who writes this p1sh? (ed – er, that’ll be you ya dafty. Hynek Stichauer’s parents will be devastated if you don’t give it to him, surely?) This week’s big questions: Will Victor be a victor? Will Monarchs end Friday Justin front? And who will be crying into their porridge on Sunday night? er, roll on Friday… KJ's prediction: 15-75

yes, very good...

just as an aside, if all riders were banned for a year, what are the clubs expected to do? sign a whole new team before their next meeting? or would any bans only kick in at the end of this season?

excellent meeting. thoroughly enjoyed it well done Russia. hats off

very sad news. best wishes to young Mr Pedersen

could you not ask one of BV's Danes for help?

soup?

Darvel

of course, we're all presuming Team GB will qualify...

well done William and THJ

is the chap who forcd him to resign still alive?

aye, that's the one we were talking about you...

amazingly, i noticed Tomicek had fallen and i was in the pub

pretty big and also pretty unsafe? you never know, we might get a freak gust of wind and old Ole might even get whacked on the napper

i was surprised you made it another singsong next year Sir?

...it didn't smack my erse

home not so long ago. had a suave weekend... decent booze, excellent banter and, er, sh1te speedway big well done to AJ. a nice wee earner for my dad and i something i was wondering about... had AJ won his semi (or indeed gained an extra pt somewhere else), would they have had to run the Final before the 8th place runoff? i bet that would've p1ssed old Ole off

drink driving and trying to escape the Police? jail him

that's cheating bad Sky

serious attitude fault from my former sailing partner last night. if he really had a problem with Hans N A's riding, why did he speak to the ref instead of his track rival?

i'll be there going with Pammie's mob... must keep her away from the German wine wonder if they have any swing parks in Deutschland

...and away meeting at Stoke on Saturday. probably true but Good Luck to him anyway

i actually thought it was Julia Bradbury 'til i saw her face

i was sat in the top tier on the apex of the 3rd / 4th bend and could quite clearly see the huge screen directly across from me on the 1st / 2nd bend